Pride + Easter = April

Behold!

I did a rainbow egg! Jupiter, I did a rainbow egg! You ain't got one!

Happy Easter and Happy Pride.

Books! ...The April Edition

I'm planning to start a new feature where, on a monthly basis, I will post what books I am reading, have recently read, and/or am planning to read soon.

Here goes the first one, for April:

The two books that I most recently finished reading were: Oryx and Crake, by Margaret Atwood, and Cujo, by Stephen King.

Oryx and Crake- This is a fabulous book, very original and fascinating! I highly recommend that you give it a read.

Cujo- I enjoyed Cujo quite a bit- I'm a big Stephen King fan, and am working my way through his back catalog. Definitely a creepy and entertaining read.

The books I'm currently reading: Wonder, by Robert J. Sawyer; Pomosexuals, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel, with preface by Kate Bornstein; and The Mighty Book of Boosh, by Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding.

Wonder- I have not gotten very far into this third book in Robert J. Sawyer's WWW trilogy, but already I'm hooked. Sawyer is all-time favorite author, and this book seems that it will not disappoint. The previous two installations in this trilogy were certainly must-reads, and so far this one seems to be as well. On a related note- I am certainly looking forward to seeing him at the up-coming Phoenix Comicon! :D

Pomosexuals- I'm almost all the way through this collection of essays and I highly recommend this book. The title is a shortening of the term "post-modern sexual", which is a term they are using to speak about those of us queers who do not quite fit in the established categories as far as sexuality, gender, or both, or to those who blur across the lines of the established categories....It's been a fascinating read, and of course a topic that is near and dear to my own heart. The book contains a wide variety of essays, each interesting in its own way.

The Mighty Book of Boosh- As I have been doing for quite some time now, I am very slowly treasuring my way through this fabulous masterpiece of Booshy goodness- savoring each page along the way.

What's up next:

The Year of the Flood, by Margaret Atwood. I checked this book out from the library, and plan to read it once I finish Wonder. It looks good- it's set in the same world as Oryx and Crake was. It may be a bit before I get to it, as I've just barely started Wonder. Then after The Year of the Flood, I'll probably choose another King book.

Crabzilla and the Case of the Missing Octopus

Last week I had some time off work (thank fuck!), so one day I decided to check out the new aquarium that has been opened in Tempe's Arizona Mills Mall. I've been wanting to go there ever since it opened but hadn't found the time. Well, since I had the week off, I figured, what the hell- what better time to treat myself to some aquarium-based fun.

Overall, I had a nice time, and snapped some cool pics with my phone - some are a bit blurry due to the dim lighting, them being taken with a camera phone, and my being not very steady-handed, lol.

I will say, the aquarium seems a bit overpriced- regular adult admission is $18, as much as the Phoenix Zoo charges, and it's not all that big. They do offer a discount for college students with school I.D., though, which is nice, so I was able to get in for $16 (plus tax, naturally- so really $18, instead of $20).

What they do have is pretty cool, though- I timed it right by going when they had the seahorse feeding (they have those three days per week, check their website for details if you're planning to go)- which was very, very cool. The seahorses are awesome- of course they are, they're seahorses!- and you get a great view of them eating. Warning: they eat brine shrimp, in case you didn't know, which are the same thing as Sea Monkeys....so if you think it would bother you to see beautiful seahorses sucking up adorable Sea Monkeys with their little tubular mouths like tiny vacuum cleaners, give it a skip. I'm kidding, don't skip it! What's your problem!? Geez, the seahorses gotta eat, dammit!! Seriously, though, it's a really awesome sight- if you go, check it out!

They also have a rock pool, where you can touch the star fish, hermit crabs, etc....what they don't have is towels for you to dry your hands on after, lol....although, here's a tip: before you give up and dry your dripping, fish-tank-smelling hands on your pants (like I did)- if you walk a few more feet, there is a hand sanitizer dispenser. You're welcome.

There's one of those really cool tunnels where you walk through a big tank of rays and little sharks. It's plastic or whatever all around, even on the floor, which is trippy- they swim right underneath you!

They have very cool eels, but it was too dark to get a good pic- I totally wanted to burst into song, "Eels! Eels! Eels up inside ya, findin' an entrance where they can...."

I had to laugh when I saw that one of the tanks in the crab/lobster room contains a Maine lobster....LOL...just like in a restaurant tank. I almost wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home for dinner- but I figured I'd probably get caught and/or get my downstairs mix-up lobster-claw-pinched all to hell. (NOT a fetish of mine, I'll have you know. Lobsters are "mmm-mmm good" dipped in butter, but I'll thank them to keep their claws off my clamburger.)


Here's some pics I took, for your viewing enjoyment:

awesome yellow seahorse

                        awesome black seahorse (seahorses are a personal favorite of mine, if you couldn't tell, lol)

the giant crabs!!- the poster on the wall nick-names them Crabzilla

to get a sense of how massive they truly are, here's one of me in front of the tank... I'm closer to the camera than the crab, so, it's even bigger than it looks- the body of the biggest one (seen here) is probably the size of my head!!

some kind of cool bright red shrimp- can't remember what it was called.....the Latin word for "fire-engine-red-shrimp", perhaps, or maybe Jeff

  the jelly-fish tank....oooohhh, aahhhh....seriously cool, I could've probably stared at it for hours, just grooving on it

                                                 close-up of a jelly-fish, just beautiful




Sadly, one thing they didn't have, that they advertise on their website, was an octopus....Their website talks about their awesome giant pacific octopus, Loki, and how you've just got to see her- however, when I got to the end, there had been no octopus at all. I asked about it, and was told that they had had trouble with the warm-water tank for their warm-water octopus, and so had switched it out for a cold-water octopus, and that the new, tiny, cold-water octopus had arrived but had to be kept secluded in quarantine for a month before being debuted in display. I love octopuses, so was completely crushed and very disappointed, almost to the point of bitterly weeping. I still think it's very uncool that no mention of this was made on their website, nor at the front before you pay to go in. I appeased myself a bit by going back to stare at the jelly-fish tank for awhile more, until it was getting closer to the time for the seahorse feeding show, and then I mozied on back to the seahorse area (oddly named "the temple of the seahorse" -?-) and waited for that to begin.

So, in tribute to Loki the octopus, and to all octopuses everywhere, here is a cool pic from their website:

Speaking of octopuses, and their general awesomeness and bad-assery, I'm seriously considering getting a tattoo of one on my left shoulder/upper arm. Have you ever noticed how they have those eyes with the rectangular pupils, like a goat's eyes? How cool is that?

Film Review: Journey of the Childmen

Journey of the Childmen- omg yay!!! I'm happy to announce that I have finally obtained and watched my copy of The Mighty Boosh documentary, Journey of the Childmen, and have had a chance to watch it several times now- so now feel comfortable writing up my review. This film is wondrous. Wonder-making. Wondertastic. It's a must-see for any Boosh fan.

Directed by Oliver Ralfe, this movie offers a delightful and insightful behind-the-scenes peek at the Boosh cast during their 2008 Future Sailors live tour. Entertaining, funny, intimate, fascinating, touching, illuminating....all these words and more describe this film. It's filled with lovely little bits of Booshy animation, too. So many great scenes in this movie, but I wont go into them all as you should just watch it and discover them for yourself. I will say that the scene of Noel and Julian writing together is both mind-boggling and miraculous, almost like watching twin-speak or something. It's also lovely to see Noel just casually lounging around in a dress. :-) Good Lord Bowie, how I love that man!

Also, the DVD special features have lots of delicious extras- including several short films that feature Julian as either director (Curtains) or star (The Savage Canvas and HIV: The Musical- both of which are hilarious). Also included is a 5-minute long trailer for a short film that Noel starred in, The Wonderful World of Death....he is spook-tacularly dressed as a kind of zombie-ish looking dead person, with a wonderful sort of Edward Scissorhands-esque quality that makes it impossible not to think about how awesome it would be to see Noel in a Tim Burton film. Frustratingly, I cant seem to find the full film of that anywhere online- it seems that so far it has only been shown at some film festivals. Hopefully someday it will be viewable on a greater scale, as it looks really good!

As a technical note- This film has not actually been released for Region 1 (for those of you who are in the U.S.), BUT, the DVD is coded "Region 0", so if you get a copy, you should likely be able to watch it. I ordered mine through Amazon U.K., and had various degrees of success playing it on the DVD-playing devices in my home- it wouldn't play at all on the Blu-Ray player, it did play on my laptop but kept skipping/freezing, but it plays just beautifully on my old regular DVD/VCR combo player in my bedroom- just like any other DVD and no problems at all any of the many times I've watched it so far.

Rating- Well, normally I use the Netflix rating scale of 1-5 stars, but since Netflix doesn't even have this film on it's radar yet, not even to "save", I'm going give it 17 stars, on a scale of 1 through 8. :-P

Film Review: I Love You Phillip Morris

I just finished watching the movie I Love You Phillip Morris and I highly recommend it. It is a truly excellent film - funny, romantic, and touching, not to mention amazingly based on a true story! Outstanding performances from both Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor.

I had been eagerly awaiting this film's release ever since I first heard about it. Apparently, from what I just read online, it did have a limited theater release back in July, although I don't know if it was ever playing anywhere near me, probably not, rarely does anything good ever come here....Not sure how I missed that scoop as I had been periodically checking the status of this film, but I guess the oven-roasted Arizona summery goodness must have distracted me (I tend to be distracted when I'm set on fire, lol). At any rate, it is now available on DVD, and is available through Netflix (for all you fellow Netflix fans). This movie did not disappoint- it was every bit as good as I'd hoped, and then some.

Final rating: 5 out of 5 stars!

Film Review: Paul

This movie is awesome. Seriously. It's hilarious. Go see it. Just do it- you'll like it. Trust me.

Paul is funnier than a mother-fucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch. (Will make more sense after you've seen it.)

Paul is the newest entry from the always funny British comedy duo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Spaced, Shaun of the Dead, among others....). They star as a couple of sci-fi fan geeks from England on holiday in America to attend the San Diego Comic-Con, and then take a road trip tour of alien 'hot-spots', ie Area 51, Roswell, etc, who just so happen to meet up with an actual alien (in the form of a superbly well-done CGI character, voiced by Seth Rogan....who, by the way, one of my lesbian ex-girlfriends has an inexplicable crush on- Seth Rogan, not the CGI alien, although I'd actually find that slightly less mystifying....Paul's not my "type", but I've always been a big admirer of the multi-colored alien babe conquests of James T. Kirk, lol)....

They end up going on a journey/road trip/ rescue quest, joined along the way by Kristen Wiig, in a role so funny I'm still laughing thinking about it, and pursued by Jason Bateman as a "Men In Black"-esque type government agent. There are tons of other great smaller roles and cameos, which I wont give spoilers on, except to say that the movie does have the ALWAYS superb Jane Lynch in it (for you fans of Glee, or The L Word, or any other of the many fabulous things she's done).

One thing (not quite a warning): The movie does contain some homophobic slurs and dialogue, however, only the characters who are portrayed as stupid and/or evil use that language, and they are all terribly punished by the plot in the form of bad things happening to them. To me, as much as I hate to hear that kind of language, it was actually nice to see the turn-about- to see homophobia used as a synonym for idiocy, odiousness, and evil, and to have the homophobes be the ones to get their comeuppance in the end.
:-)


I recently heard a "reviewer" ( I use that term loosely) give a bad review to Paul, complaining that it "shoved atheism into people's faces" or some such nonsense (it doesn't, by the way), to which I say: Fuck you, Dickmilk! I've seen so many movies and shows (even good ones) where it's casually portrayed as warm and fuzzy when nonbelievers "regain" their belief in "god" at the end....this movie's take on the subject was quite refreshing.....but really, that's beside the point: It's a comedy, and as such it lives or dies by whether it's funny, and it is a laugh-out-loud hilarity-fest.....Not just me, but both friends I went with, and the two different audiences I saw it in, in different theaters- everybody laughed out loud consistently through-out the whole movie.

Final ranking for Paul? 5 stars! :-D

Film Review: Red Riding Hood

Sigh. What can I say about this movie? That it was mediocre? Sure. That I was disappointed because I expected it to be fantastic and it was only mediocre? That too. That it was so hokey in places that it was unintentionally hilarious and that I laughed out loud in the theater? Yes, that as well. ....All in all, I cant say it was a bad movie or anything, and, I actually did enjoy it. It's just that it looked so awesome from the trailers and then in reality was kind of...not.

On the plus side: It does star Amanda Seyfreid, as Red Riding Hood (mmmmmm- seriously, can you blame any big bad wolf from wanting to eat her up? he he)

as well as the talented and amazing Mr. Gary Oldman (one of my top favorite movie actors Of. All. Time.)

And yes, I do realize this picture is him from Bram Stoker's Dracula, and not Red Riding Hood, but you know what? I don't care!! His costumes are SICK in Dracula. What I wouldn't give to have an outfit like that! Not to mention that's my second favorite movie EVER, right after Hedwig and the Angry Inch...but I'm getting off-topic, sorry. ......So, yes, he does a really good job, as always, despite the movie, and despite having some corny lines in places, he manages to sell them. His character is delightfully awful, and I cant ever say enough good things about Gary Oldman.

(Side note, off topic- Speaking of the ability to sell even the most absurd lines imaginable, I want to take a moment to nominate Brad Dourif (who is not in this movie), as the King of That Ability....As evidence, I submit the scene in Alien Resurrection - a movie I do love, by the way- where the alien is biting into his brain, and he is cooing that it is a beautiful, beautiful butterfly. )

Also, the movie has werewolves (always a plus!) and, they are done fairly well, special-effects-wise.

The special effects, scenery, and over-all look of the film are quite good.

It's an interesting movie, as in- I wasn't bored.


Now for the bad news:

As previously mentioned, it's full of extreme corny hokey-ness, and it doesn't seem to be even slightly intentional. O.M.G. So much hokey-ness. Wow. For a fuller accounting of the film's hokey-ness, and an all-around great and accurate review, I refer you to my best friend's review of the same film, over at Celyn's Little Blog

I do want to mention one scene in particular- Amand Seyfried's character tries to do a "sexy dance" with her female friend in the movie, to get the attention of the guy she likes who is dancing with another woman. Of all the times I've ever imagined Amanda Seyfried "dirty dancing" with another chic, believe me, this is not how I pictured it. I just kept wanting to yell - "you're doing it wrong!" LOL The moves were an awkward mash-up of old-timey stylized dance, and pseudo-lambada.....and the chemistry was zero. It was about as sexy as watching someone badly attempt the heimlich maneuver. (Just in case that's the specific fetish of someone reading this, I mean to say it wasn't sexy at all, or at least not to me, and that's saying something! LOL)

Overall, I'd give it a Netflix rating of three stars, meaning "liked it", but didn't "really like it".

Welcome to the Zooniverse, Where All Your Dreams Come True....niverse

Nicey nicey zoo zoo, for him and her and me and you.....okay, enough Bob Fossil quote-time fun- my point is that I went to the zoo last week with my B.F.F. and a fun time was had by all. Especially by the koalas, who were so thrilled that we came to visit them on their last weekend at this zoo, that they lapsed into a deep, deep sleep, from the excitement, that began just before we arrived -someone must have told them we were coming- and lasted until after we left, lol. They were still pretty cute, though, even curled up and sleeping- they looked like stuffed toys!

But, seriously, we did have an awesome time- the weather was lovely, the animals were awesome- the grey leg-faced man, the long-mover- you know? the wind-y man (sorry! but hey- if you can write about a zoo trip without quoting Bob Fossil, then you're a stronger person than I, lol...I'll try to stop now)....okay, very well- the elephant, and the python ("ooh, I'm Howard Moon, and I know all the names of the animals at the zoo!!" *rubs nipple in mockery*....okay, I lied, I have no intention of stopping, not ever, lol)....well, maybe not the cheetahs- they snubbed us completely by sleeping in their little hut where we couldn't see them, lol. I finally got to experience the famous Monkey Village exhibit, where you get to enter the squirrel monkey enclosure- I even managed not to snicker when the zookeeper explained that the monkeys pee on every square inch of everything in the enclosure, so if you touch anything- your hands now have monkey pee on them and you should wash them once you come back out. (It was hard, I'm snickering now just typing this- not even sure why that's funny, lol)

Here are some pictures, for your viewing enjoyment:

giraffes

zebras!

a red bird I don't remember the name of

Here's a pic Shane took of me brushing a goat in the petting zoo...I've cropped out most of myself, as although it's a fairly flattering photo of the goat, it's not so flattering of me, ha ha.

a close-up of this baboon...he put his face right up to the glass! I was literally inches from him, only separated by the glass- it was pretty awesome....

tortoise, getting ready to chow down on that hay

sorry for the glare on this one, but I had to snap a photo of the mandrill wives, for Bollo....

and, last, but certainly not least, the fearsome Komodo Dragon!!!! oooohhh ahhhhh

(seriously cool)

 Unfortunately, our zoo doesn't have any pandas- Because I've heard that when the man panda kisses the lady panda, they invent new baby pandas, and everybody comes from all over and gives us money! (You seriously didn't think I was going to not manage to get that one in here, did you? lol)